“How do I get over my ex?”

It’s one of the most common - and most heartfelt - questions I hear.

When a relationship ends, especially one where deep feelings were involved, the pain can feel all-consuming. Clients tell me they feel stuck, obsessed, unable to think straight - as if their ex is living rent-free in their head 24/7. Even when the breakup was the right decision. Even when things were unhealthy. Even when they know, rationally, that it’s over.

So why is it so hard to let go?

You’re not broken. Your brain is just doing its job.

Science now shows us that heartbreak affects the brain in ways almost identical to physical pain. The same neural pathways light up. Your body experiences withdrawal symptoms not unlike coming off a drug. You may feel anxious, depressed, sleepless - or like you’ve lost part of your identity.

That’s because romantic love activates the brain’s reward system. When the source of that reward disappears, your brain doesn’t just let go. It clings. It searches. It replays memories in an attempt to make sense of the loss. This can lead to:

• Intrusive thoughts about your ex
• A constant urge to reach out or check social media
• Idealising the relationship in hindsight
• Feeling like you’ll never move on

This isn’t weakness. It’s biology.

And that’s why trying to “move on” with logic alone rarely works.

So how do you actually get over your ex?

The first step is understanding that emotional recovery isn’t just about time passing. It’s about what you do with that time. And that’s where coaching comes in.

At Sea Change Therapy & Coaching, we specialise in helping high-functioning professionals navigate the emotional chaos of breakups and divorce. Through a powerful blend of coaching and therapeutic techniques - including HeartMath® and Advanced Thought Field Therapy (TFT-Adv) - we help you:

• Regulate your nervous system (so you can think clearly again)
• Process emotional triggers (so you’re not blindsided by a song, a scent, or a memory)
• Rewire unhelpful beliefs (like “I’ll never find someone else”)
• Rebuild your confidence, clarity and self-worth

This isn’t “talk therapy.”

It’s structured, focused, and designed to get you feeling better - fast.

It’s not about forgetting them. It’s about remembering you.

A breakup isn’t just the loss of a partner - it’s often the loss of a future you imagined, an identity you built, and a sense of safety in the world. That’s a lot to grieve. But the goal isn’t to erase the past - it’s to reclaim your power in the present.

With the right support, it’s not only possible to let go of your ex - it’s possible to grow into a version of yourself that feels stronger, clearer, and more aligned than ever before.

If you're ready to stop obsessing and start healing...

Book your free 30-minute Breakthrough Call

Let’s get you feeling like you again.